This year’s James Thurber Memorial Prize for the most imaginative personification of a bottle goes, I think, to Victoria Moore of the Guardian.
The Domaine Pichard Madiran 2003, she thinks, “feels like a good conversation”. But with the Finest Pessac Leognan 2000 (£22.99 at Tesco) “the conversation is effortlessly highbrow. But I also know that if yesterday’s socks fell out of my jeans leg while I was chatting to it, the Finest Pessac Leognan would put me at ease”.
I wish I had the same confidence in the wine I was drinking this evening (Sainsbury’s, £6.49 for 2 litres). I suspect in the same circumstances it would point, guffaw helplessly and take pictures on its mobile ‘phone.