A Gnome Writes …

A Gnome writes …

Gnome 1

 

There’ll be no blogging from His Nibs today.  He’s off to the cricket (“that’s if there is any cricket“, says he meaningfully).  That’s the trouble with this new fad of Championship matches starting on a Sunday.  Now I’m not religious myself (lestways not that religion) but I don’t hold with it. ‘Taint natural and there’s no time for Mr. so-called “Backwatersman” (long time since I saw him  anywhere near a boat) to waste his Sunday afternoons practising his Neville Cardus imitations.  Too busy stuffing his face with pies in the Meet and taking photographs of clouds, I don’t doubt.

But as he’s taken my name in vain the other week I thought I’d shove my two penn’orth in, for what it’s worth.  So what’s been happening to Leicestershire since His Nibs last deigned to write about them?  Straight down the pan, that’s what.  Three good days against Hampshire, then bowled out for less than a hundred.  Lost.  Saved from a beating at Tunbridge Wells by the rain.  Beaten by Gloucestershire after a “sporting declaration“.  And we’re not doing too well in the tip-and-giggle neither.  And then there’s the rain.

So who’s fault’s this?  Clock the vacant-looking fizzog at the top of this blog.  Which damn’ fool was it that said “there’s a good feeling at Grace Road this season” after only two games?  When he knew as well as I do what would happen.  If I put this to him he puts on his clever face and talks about “cognitive” this and “fallacy” that, but, as he admitted the other week, I know (and he knows) that the the Grey Mother Cricket will not be mocked.  But I don’t doubt he’ll be back tonight with a silly grin on his face, blethering about Leicestershire still being in with a chance of promotion if only Nathan Buck’s form holds up and a few more of our “sporting declarations” come off.  Some folk will never learn, mark my words.

 

Now, Charlie, I’m sure you can recapture your sparkling early season form with the bat ...

Gnome 3

 

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